Our (not) very scientific classification of Buffy’s characters, from the coolest to the most lame!

We like to make lists at Madmoizelle. As a result, we classified the characters of Buffy against the Vampires, in total bad faith.

Article published in May 2022

Warning, this article is going to be full of personal judgment and in bad faith. Now that you know, we can go.

I could have you believe that this ranking was written in collaboration with my colleagues, that we weighed the pros and cons of the personalities of almost every character in buffy the vampire slayer, but it’s totally false, I’m all alone in this boat.

So I’m going to give you my ranking from the worst to the best characters, and you have every right to say that I write anything, it affects me without moving the other.

Angel: worst character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Look at this silly head

Angel, this good head of con, is the worst of the worst. Silly, falsely romantic and seriously creepy (I remind you that he watched Buffy’s actions and gestures even before she spoke to him), it deserves to burn in the sun in the middle of the scorching month of August.

But since life is badly done, Mr. Vampire had the right to his status as the perfect guy and ideal son-in-law throughout the series, even when he walked off like a mess by breaking the heart of the only person who found an interest in him (while he tried to eat her and all her friends in season 2. Go figure the interest that some and some can have in this poor kind).

Tara: the softest girl on earth in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

tara buffy
“Hello, my name is Tara and I only serve to highlight Willow”

Attention, I feel that I will attract the wrath of many of you. But I don’t care, I stick to my positions: Tara really had the charisma of a bolt. Silly, monotonous voice and uninteresting (and non-existent) personality, she made me shudder as much as a farting kitten, minus the cute side.

Clearly, if Tara had any interest, it’s only thanks to Willow. Everything else, everything that only concerned her was absolutely useless. Even his past was boring! Remember how she was scared of turning into a demon because her misogynistic family simmered on the subject? Here, even there, it was boring.

Dawn: the key that does not open anything in Buffy the vampire slayer

dawn buffy
If anyone has any interest in him, I want to hear his arguments

Dawn, Buffy’s little sister out of nowhere, should have remained in the key state and found a real lock to open, rather than existing. Relu, sticky, capricious and not really smart-smart, it has absolutely no use apart from that of screwing up in a corner where it’s still not already great fun.

Until she showed up in a completely bizarre way, everything was fine (well, as good as it gets in a city full of not very nice creatures), and I never understood the point of the disembark (and stay). Frankly, we could do without it.

Giles, the boomer who should have found a real job in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Giles Buffy
“Hi, my name is Giles and I love hanging out with teenagers even though I’m 120 myself”

So yes, Giles was the pinnacle of cool for anyone with psychoanalytic issues to sort out. But in real life, if we take a two-minute step back, Gilles was downright weird. The guy spent his life in the library of a high school, sticking a young killer up the ass by forcing her to fight, all that to end up banging the mother of the so-called killer and moving to the other side of the country when we needed him.

Yes ok, he had a great English accent, but other than that? The only times he made us vibrate a little was when he put on his baseball cap.observer-who-does-not-observe-much aside and he started pushing the ditty, like in the musical episode. Otherwise, he was just a good boomer who should have found a job before his retirement, rather than giving advice, sometimes completely off the mark, to a teenager who considered him her father.

Alex (or Xander), the one whose usefulness we still haven’t understood in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

alex buffy
Alex or the head of vicos

Frankly, who thinks that Alex had a super important role in the Scooby Gang? Nobody. Well I think. In truth, it looks like the character of Alex was created by the writers in an attempt to prove that solo chicks couldn’t get away with it every time. Except it failed, dear patriarchy, Buffy’s girls have always been much cooler and badass than the guys.

The only time in all 7 fucking seasons where Xander was helpful was at the end of season 6, where he was the only one who could stop Willow from making a giant barbecue with the whole planet. But otherwise, he was more of a drag than anything else, and this, during the entire series.

Buffy, the yea-yea

buffy
Buffy aka the queen of the ouins-ouins

No, but you can’t say that Buffy’s character sucks, it’s on her that the whole series is based! » Hold my beer.

Of course I can, I can say whatever I want. In truth, I’m also not saying that Buffy sucks, otherwise she would have been at the top of this ranking, with that stupid Angel.

I’m just saying that even though ok, she saves the world, she’s still damn ” yes-yes my life is not easy “. The girl complains because she’s in love with a vampire (excuse me, but it’s not our fault if you have weird tastes), she complains because she has trouble having a life social with her job as a killer (sorry but you still have quite a bunch of friends, huh you’re far from being solo), she complains because she has a dodgy sister (on this one, it’s true), she complains because she has to save the world, and gnia-gnia-gnia…

I’m going to stop listing all his complaints, otherwise we’ll easily reach 12,000 characters on this paper, which doesn’t deserve so many.

Willow, the best of all in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

willow buffy
The world would be a whole lot better off if Willow were president.

You are probably wondering which character finds favor in my eyes? There is only one that, in my opinion, stands out: the prodigious Willow. Already because she’s a redhead, and redheads will dominate the world one day, you’ll see, and then because she’s the only one to have had the best evolution, of all the characters in the series.

She goes from model little girl to witch emeritus, she certainly almost destroyed the world and lost her mind a bit, but at the same time she had extenuating circumstances, you have to understand that.

Willow deserves an entire series on her, unlike the most boring of vampires (I remind you that Angel was entitled to his spin-off, the scandal is total).

Regarding the other characters, I don’t dwell on them, because either they are the most problematic in the world (hello Spike), or they have such limited interest that writing about them would require an energy that I absolutely don’t have.

The next time, we will tear down the characters of which other series, in your opinion?


Read also :

Aging alert: what’s happening to the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Our (not) very scientific classification of Buffy’s characters, from the coolest to the most lame!