The Dumbest Horror Movie Monsters, Ranked | Pretty Reel

Watching horror movies, you expect to be scared. You might even be content to be disturbed. When scares turn to involuntary laughter, the allure dies faster than a teenager at Camp Crystal Lake. The horror turns into B-movie territory and never escapes its campy infamy. Your eyes will always remember the silly vision.

A genre already exists to be afraid of idiots: the horror comedy. Horror allows for manic laughter, even a spare morbid punchline, but it’s balanced like a slowly descending pit and pendulum. Unintentional humor can be a welcome or disappointing surprise. CHUD is a film that can go both ways with its wide-eyed humanoid cannibal. These films show the awkwardness in the grotesque to a gruesome but laughable degree.

8/8 Creatures (1986)

New line cinema

Hungry furbies become murderous carnivores. These reptilian hairballs are called Krites with an insatiable appetite for human flesh. They are escaped prisoners of space who terrorize the Brown family and their farm in Kansas. Their eternal chaos was a freak accident just as much as their wide jagged smile was. Practical effects made Krites scary, and their small size and pugnacious wits made them foolish.

7/8 The Golem (1915)

Deutsche Eclair

The century-old clay monster was inspired by a Jewish folktale in which its creator used it as a symbol of protection against anti-Semitism. For all the German Expressionism of the director and man who played the Golem, Paul Wegener is the opposite of stone face. Party City was going to make a Golem-inspired costume, but they changed their minds. A rock monster looks mystical and menacing, but the gaze is dumb as a rock. Her clumsy limbs and doll-like figure don’t turn you into a creepy rolling stone, either. If the face was less expressive and more statue-like, and the hairpiece was more subtle, the Golem wouldn’t be thrown laughing stones.

6/8 The Creeping Eye (1958)

Eros Movies

The eyes are the window to the soul. An eye that does not blink, however, does not see eye to eye. This spaghetti monster with a meatball for an eye also travels by radioactive cloud on a snowy mountain in Switzerland. The reason the monster exists is unknown and unbeknownst to its victims, it can control your mind and force you into a killing trance. Many moving parts went into the creature’s design, none of which are hard to follow. His collage existence looks and feels like an eight-year-old’s creepy drawing come to life, which is very silly at first glance.

5/8 Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

Universal images

The original aquatic monster swims in the Amazon River, where it is discovered by marine biologists. A living fossil is terrifying enough, but its face belongs behind glass in an aquarium. Further studies should be devoted to these mouth-breathing fish lips and dead eyes. One can only imagine what the gliding Gill-man looked like in 3D as well. In fact, the creature looked so stupid that it had to be played by two men, Bill Chapman (on land) and Ricou Browning (underwater).

4/8 Gremlins (1984)

Warner Bros.

Mogwai (Cantonese for “monster” or “demon”) is the Christmas gift and pet every family wants. Plush and innocent, except when exposed to life’s simple pleasures: water, sunlight, and midnight snacks. Indulging in the three results in their dark side transformation into reptilian demons of debauchery. Stripe is the Gremlin leader, leading the charge on a not-so-silent night. Morbidly humorous and bland in taste, the Gremlins look like a Saturday morning cartoon villain.

3/8 Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Trans world entertainment

Clowns have the luxury of making us laugh and cry. To be the epitome of comedic cruelty and creativity is an otherworldly feat. Interstellar circus performers put Pennyworth to shame. Absurd carnival-themed murders and tricks set these alien Klowns apart from the normal College Clown. A decrepit cartoonish appearance makes them eerily dumb.

2/8 The Giant Claw (1957)

Pictures of Colombia

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s a bird with island gigantism! The overgrown bird of prey attacks manned aircraft, alerting the military and residents on the ground. Witnesses call it La Carcagne. Aeronautical engineers and mathematicians have speculated that the winged juggernaut is from another dimension, given its indestructible nature. They learn to destroy the Antimatter Space Buzzard with atomized weapons. Worse, they couldn’t destroy his vulture head, deformed beak, and free eyes.

1/8 Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922)

Cinematic Arts Guild

One of the original cinematic vampires, Count Orlok looks great in the dark. Nosferatu would look best under a dentist’s mouth light. After removing and rebuilding these toothpicks for teeth. His oblong head makes Mr. Potato Head feel better about himself. The creepy century-old bloodsucker is meant to torment you until you turn white as he is, but his face ends up surprising at best. We now know why the unauthorized and unofficial adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula is unauthorized and unofficial. Although he was sued by the Stoker family and nearly became a lost movie, this bad eyesight drew all eyes to him.

The Dumbest Horror Movie Monsters, Ranked | Pretty Reel